Karma?

Is that you karma? Knocking at my financial door?

Yes, yes, I think it is! Don’t like my spending habits lately? Well, you know, those shoes were so cute! And that top is great for work! And we both know I prefer to wear dresses on the weekends in the summer…

Oh, wait? The cat may need orthopaedic surgery? Fiance may not receive the usual annual bonus amount? Oh, I guess I shouldn’t have bought all that stuff…

Ever feel like karma is trying to send you a financial message? That those little goodies you bought yourself may have felt great in the moment, but then all of a sudden some financial burden hits you, potentially crippling the thin financial foothold you have?

Well, yesterday and today were examples of karma coming to get me after those moments of weakness. Bought some shoes a couple of weeks ago, convinced myself they were my birthday present. Went to a girlfriend’s house yesterday and bought a top and dress (having convinced myself using the above mentioned reasons). Then I took my cat to the vet later that afternoon- she may need surgery to alleviate pressure off a joint.Then I get home from work today (keep in mind, we have a major chunk of our wedding expenses coming up, I’ve saved for some of it, my fiance none) and my fiance learned he may not get the normal generous bonus he’s received in years past. At this point, any bonus is better than none, but I don’t think it will cover costs like we had hoped it would.

I did take the time to photograph and post some stuff on ebay the other day, was already working on being super cheap with purchasing centerpieces for the wedding, waited until after Easter to buy baskets since they were on sale, etc. So, in an effort to convince myself I’m doing something right, I’m sitting here begging my audience to cut me some slack when I deserve none. I deserve the hand karma is doling out. I’ve continued to let stress rule me and I’ve given in to those financial indulgences that got me into trouble in the first place.

I have looked into teaching more dance classes, but it’s hard when you have very limited availability and they need someone NOW. I am tapped out on ideas otherwise. I toyed around with the idea of trying to convince my old boss to hire me full-time at her new practice, work her early hours, then work part-time for my current job in the afternoons..it would be too much of a hassle and my old boss probably can’t afford me currently. I’m trying to think of summer employment opportunities that may work for me, but I’m running a blank. Still need to call my ace-in-the-hole and ask a question, and I continue to bank on that coming through, and soon but I need to make that phone call!

So, really, nothing has changed. My inability to handle stress properly and say NO to certain things continues to be my financial downfall. Now that April cosmetic loan payoff is still probably out of the question, again. Forget the CC1 and CC2 balances (since I had to use CC1 for the vet visit yesterday).

HELP! I’M DROWNING! Does anyone have a lifesaver?? Ideas?? ANYTHING?!?!?!?

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